Addressing Parent Bullying Questions

• Bullies have always existed. Why is it such a big deal now?

It's true that bullies have always existed, but it is just so different now. As I mentioned in my previous blog, children are being bullied now at home as well because of technology. They wake up and go to school and get bullied and then they come home and go online and continue to get bullied. Some may say, well just don't go online then. Well that's way easier said then done. Our children today are Digital Natives which means that it's part of who they are. Being on line to them is the equivalent of us driving cars. Asking them to not go online is like asking us as adults to not drive our cars; it's just not realistic.

Also there is one other factor that makes bullying very different today. It's written in words on the computer. This means that children can read it over and over and over again. Being bullied in the school yard is hearing some mean things and then it's over (not that it's not hurtful). When it is sent to you on the computer or through text messages on your phone it is there to see over and over again. And trust me those children do read it over and over and OVER again. Eventually it will just beat them down until they can't take it anymore. Childrens' homes are no longer their safe haven from the difficulties of the outside world. The outside world has now entered all of our lives through the computer.

• I don't know how to use the computer like my kids do. What can I do?

Another bit issue with cyber bullying is that many parents have no idea that it is happening. These children can be sitting on the computer 50 feet away from their parents, being tormented and degraded, and the parents may have no idea at all. I do realize that many of these Digital Natives have parents who are Digital Immigrants which can cause some problems. Many parents struggle to just email never mind using blogs, facebook, twitter etc... Whether it's fear or just ignorance many parents don't realize that their children are living completely different lives on the computer that they have no idea about. Would you let your 12 go out all day by themselves and have no idea where they are? Well when they are allowed to surf the web all day without any parent supervision that's exactly what you are letting them do. They are out in the world all by themselves being exposed to more than their parents can even imagine. Take Ryan Halligan for example. It wasn't until after he killed himself that is father discovered the world he was part of online. As a parent I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be to see that your children was exposed to so much danger right in your own home; and you had no clue at all.

This is why parents NEED to be active online and monitor their children's online lives. Some of them may argue privacy and say that their private thoughts are theirs and that their parents shouldn't invade that. Well guess what NOTHING is private online. If you truly want privacy then write in a diary and keep it under your bed. When you're online you are open to the world and every danger that exists out there. Parents need to be active and vigilant when monitoring their childrens' activity online.

I feel as though society needs to realize that children are consumed with online lives. Due to this I think that towns should begin to offer classes to teach parents some basic online knowledge. Perhaps public school can be used at night time or on the weekends to hold classes. It's our job as a society to work together to protect our children and keep up with technology. There are many parents out there who don't know what to do online. My advice to them is to talk to their children and tell them that if they want online access then they need to teach their parents about the sites they use. Parents should be viewing their children's online activity every day. This may upset many children, but remember parents....you are their parent first not their friend. So let them be angry at you, at least you know they're safe.